How Minding My Own Business Changed My Life

Between my friends and family, I grew up around many people. We were all from the same neighborhood and, since most people were connected to each other in some way, we all had an idea of how each other’s life was going. This was normal.

That sense of community and togetherness was one of the best parts of growing up in the hood. However, when everyone is connected and in each other’s business all the time – it can be difficult to distinguish between personal desires and desires that stem from what others have done.

For example, as a teenager, I used to buy expensive clothes and spend a big portion of my time trying to seduce women. This was the normal thing to do in my area as a teenager. Since I was so connected with a lot of people my age, I adopted that behavior without even considering if it was the right path for me.

I became a product of my environment.

So, in this post, I talk about how minding my own business changed my life.

What does it mean to “mind my own business”?

When I say “minding my own business”, it means to focus on my life while ignoring what others are doing/thinking.

Why I started minding my own business

I didn’t intentionally start minding my own business. My situation at the time forced me to.

I was frustrated with being poor and started learning more about skills, the world, and business. At the same time – my car had problems that I couldn’t afford to fix, I was making less money overall, and things started to go downhill with the girl I had been dating for years.

Life sucked. But, thankfully, I still had the internet. I spent over 8 months alone in the house learning and working on a business. And, while it was nice to spend that time dedicated to a business – this alone time allowed me to disconnect from everyone and start questioning the way I lived life.

I learned myself

As I mentioned at the beginning of this post, I grew up around many different people. It was rare to be alone. This led me to subconsciously live a life similar to those I was around and become a product of my environment.

So when I spent those months alone, minding my business – I started to question myself. For the first time in my life, I didn’t have anyone influencing my actions. Anything I did, was because I chose to.

Ultimately, I started questioning myself, the things I thought I enjoyed, and the way I lived life. These questions helped me learn myself and what I actually wanted out of life instead of what I was influenced to want.

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I made more money

If you read my post on How To Get Out of The Hood, you might already know how minding my business helped me make more money.

However, even if you didn’t read that post, it’s practically the same as what I mentioned above in the “why I started minding my own business” section. I was going through a rough period in life and spent many months by myself gaining skills and starting a business.

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With that said, that was only one part of the equation that helped me make more money.

The other part of that equation was that by minding my business, I had nothing “better” to do than become a better person. Becoming a better person allowed me to network with people on the internet that knew a lot more about business (and life) than I did. Even though at the time, I still spoke a lot of slang that made understanding me rough – most people I talked to could see past that and were willing to help someone trying to legitimately change his life.

Had I not been so focused on my own life, I might have been too self-conscious to network with people that were so different than me (race, culture, financial status, and age). But, thankfully, I was minding my own business and kept moving forward.

With that said, I cringe looking back at photos I took with people I networked with after eventually meeting up. My hair was rough, all my clothes were dingy, and the memories of my poor manners come flooding back. But, at the same time, those memories make me optimistic that if I can do it – anybody can do it if they try.

I no longer cared what other’s thought about me

I already mentioned how I was so focused on my own life that I didn’t even think about what others thought about me. However, even when I took a break from minding my own business to catch up with family, friends, and what’s been going on in the neighborhood – I no longer cared about anyone’s opinion of me.

As my confidence in myself increased, my reliance on other people’s acceptance faded. I didn’t need anyone to agree with my belief, lifestyle, or preferences.

As long as I had a reason behind my actions that I believed in, I was comfortable with being different than everyone I knew.

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I became mentally strong

This piggybacks off of my not caring what others thought about me.

I became mentally strong to the point that I feel like I can accomplish anything. I mean, not many things in life feel out of reach anymore.

I also became strong enough mentally to really understand that my life is going to be over in a “flash”. And, when I’m about to die – the only things that will really matter are the memories I have and the people that surround me. That understanding also changed the way I looked at the world and forced me to stop stressing about things outside of my control. I became an abnormally calm person that works well under pressure.

The imaginary walls and limits I had previously placed on myself no longer mattered.

If I’m going to die within a few decades (based on the average lifespan) and there’s something important that I want to do – I’m going to do it. The “how” doesn’t even feel like an obstacle anymore. For me, it’s just a problem that needs to be solved.

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